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a national hero

(Source: fagbarbie)

BREAKING NEWS: Kansas Eliminates Due Process for Teachers, Expands Privatization



The teacher-hating GOP extremists backed by ALEC/Koch Brothers are destroying education in this country. 

They are destroying the whole country, one issue at a time…

And we are stupid enough to keep voting them in office and letting them do it.

We get what we deserve.






Australian possum vs American possum 

I had this exact conversation with an Australian friend. She was startled and said that oh, she must have just heard a possum outside her window.


After an amusingly long circular conversation where she thought I was irrationally scared of the adorable little animal on the left, we figured out that we were discussing two very different animals. She sent me a picture, I awwed. Then I sent her a picture.


The last time I saw one that wasn’t roadkill, it was hissing at me from the shadows of a dark driveway I was walking past and I just bolted for a good hundred feet or so out of reflex.

This may be the only time the US wins in a head to head competition for scarier animals with Australia.

the one marsupial we do have, and it’s this fucking thing


So I used to work for a bookstore. Pretty big bookstore in the US. I loved my co-workers, I loved the company, but our store manager sucked. We had two other store managers (one was promoted, the other moved across the country for her husband’s job) so I know it’s not the company but her.  She had the brilliant idea that it would help sales if we bombarded customers with questions at point of sale.

I not only had to ask the customer if they had a member card. I had to explain the benefits of the card if they didn’t have one and calculate how much they’d be saving if they purchased a member card (yes, you have to purchase it…).

That was only the first question.

Then I had to ask if they wanted any gift cards. If they said no I had to explain the benefit of gift cards.

Then I had to ask (if they weren’t a member) if they wanted to receive e-mails and what they could save in the future if they receive e-mail coupons.

Then I had to ask if they had our e-reader. If they didn’t, I had to explain why they should check it out (I had to give 3 benefits of our e-reader versus the competition’s).

She would stalk the registers, and if I (or anyone else working the registers) missed one of these questions she would scold us even if customers were very clear that they didn’t want to be asked any more questions, they just wanted to buy their damn stuff and go home.

One time I had a lady approach the register and said flat out, “If you ask me if I have one of those cards I’m leaving.” My store manager was standing 5 feet away and I looked at her and she gave me that look so I proceeded to say to the customer, “Well, we really ask just to make sure you can get the discount if you have a card.” The customer threw the book at me and left the store. My store manager told me that I could’ve turned that incident into a sale by explaining the benefits of the card.


In conclusion, overloading customers with questions is going to drive them away.







There is literally nothing better than a sexy, badass lady.


This lady was such a badass, I can’t count the ways, but let’s try.

She got married to an already successful pirate, Zheng Yi, and took over when he died. She was crazy strict to keep an iron fist over her fleet of pirates, and the punishments for stepping out of line were brutal. If you stole or looted from a town that provided assistance or tribute to the pirate fleet, Ching would chop your fucking head off with a battle axe and dump your lifeless body in the ocean.  If you stole from the pirate treasury, or she thought you were stealing from the pirate treasury, Ching would chop your fucking head off dump your lifeless body in the ocean.  Raping any captured female prisoners was punishable by immediate death.  Fuck, if you had consensual sex while on duty you got your head chopped off and the woman was chucked off the boat no matter where they were at.  Ching wasn’t fucking around, and she wanted to make damn sure you weren’t fucking around when you should have been working.

Two years after she took over, she got so notorious for ransacking towns and taking taxes on them that she pissed off the entire Chinese government, and sent out a massive fleet to bring her in line. Most pirates probably would’ve said this was out of their pay grade and taken off to hide out or ransack some other country.

Ching Shih said fuck that.

She not only faced them head on, she wiped the floor with them, killing hundreds and capturing sixty-something ships from the Imperial Fleet. Prisoners were given the choice of joining up or being executed on the spot. The Admiral of the Chinese navy, Kwo Lang, was so afraid of being captured by her or going back to admit he’d been beaten by her that he committed suicide.

For the next two years, Ching Shih not only kept on pirating, she fought off Chinese forces as well as Dutch and British warships that the navy called in to help. Finally the government gave up and offered her amnesty as well as amnesty for her then SEVENTEEN THOUSAND crewman. Ching Shih got to keep all her plunder, so she retired to the countryside where she opened up a brothel and lived until she was 69.

tldr: I’ve come to terms with the reality that I’ll never be as terrifyingly badass as this woman was.

i will be as badass as she

You know, I heard of her, but I’d either forgotten or never heard that she grew old and retired having never been brought down or defeated ever.

She won being a pirate.

She got history’s high score.

(Source: did-you-kno)

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